New year... ?!!

Ahh.. 11.25 pm, in a few minutes its new year... 2010.. whats so new about new year ? Years back it meant something... now why do i feel this way.... Am i 80 years old or something... 'everyday is just the same day for me' kinda feeling..... Happy to have talked to sandeepettan... loved it when he screamed chekka and greeted me... ! Can't digest when he talks with a heavy British accent though...! Wish we could meet again and spent some quality time.. 

What are my new year plans? Nothing special... i'd just love to shut from the system and go for a peaceful sleep... no music, no party, no tv - not at all! , no friends , no family ! 

Or i wish i was alone and camping on top of a mountain looking across a beautiful city .. just like Alexander Supertramp.. . and see the city welcoming  the new dawn.. that would have been beautiful... 

Watched Avatar with family, didn't find it so good ! It was visually aesthetic ! Thats all i could feel !

The most amazing thing that happened today was holding Vrinda's baby... it was a wonderful feeling... such a tiny being.. what i liked about him was his inquisitiveness like expression... keeping quite... watching things... listening to a language alien to him and nodding his head as if he could understand... Couldn't take my eyes off him.. didn't want to !

When does Athena want a baby ? At the age of 19..... 

When did i want a baby? At the age of 17... :) lol..  just 2 yrs earlier than Athena....! But i haven't met my cahit yet ! 

Feeling too too sleepy.. because i saw 4 am today after many years... was at arunchettan's home, ernakulam! And its such a nice feeling when you get to know that people have an idea about your tastes.. ! I was so happy to see the  'Arundhati  made'  puttu and kadala on the table along with a glass of kattan chaaya  when i reached their home on 30th morning.... 

And today valyamma wakes up at 4 am to make puttu !!! And i had puttu and pazham at 4 30.... amazing feeling ! The rest of the day i had no rest...!! So, totally tired... wanna sleep but we've got to cut the chocolate cake that we bought from ambrosia.... after that.... just SHUT DOWN ! :) Go to a deeeep sleeeep !

I wish i find something new in this so called new year ! i dont wanna make any unnecessary resolutions or decisions of doing something , being somebody better or so ! That would be a big joke !! Especially when i'm on the other end of the decision making thread ! lol..... 

Happy new year to all those who are looking forward to a beautiful beginning.... :)  

Seven pounds and death !

Writing about death does not seem to be a good idea to me at 1.49 am !

But watching Seven pounds ( I watched half of it a week ago and didnt continue watching it coz i dont know , didnt feel like it... ) So i made it a point to finish watching it today!  Its our management fest LUMINANCE tomorrow.. Participating colleges have come in... a lot of colleges.. a lot of students...

Everyone's asleep and ready to wake up at 3.30 to get ready for the next days program! WTF.. i can't even imagine! Im such a laidback person... i wouldn't wanna wake up at 3.3o in the morning and get ready for the programs...! I wouldn't do something which i really dont believe in !

Yeah, anyways, talking about death ...

i dont know how to judge the movie 'seven pounds' 

I dont have the  sense to judge right now! But i believe i ended up thinking somethings about death... I was wondering, first of all.. the reason why i never get past the two pages of Albert Camus' A HAPPY  DEATH ! i never can ! And i dont think i ever will ! I started trying to read it since i was a kid ( yeah thats a bit too much early to read camus, coz i dont even understand it now ). Somehow i was attracted to the book and tried to read it everytime... and ended up successfully failing ( which is my forte !! ) 

Watching seven pounds i was wondering what death is all about... the mystery of death is irritating.... But its said that once you get the meaning of death... the spirit of living is lost !

I dont know! Im in the mid - neither do i believe it nor do i not believe it ! 

Death is so inevitable... So is life..! If we could escape death , why can't we escape life?

Why do we have to live... go through a lot of experiences.. just to venture into something which we really don't know at all ! Then whats the point in living? eee... disgusting thoughts....! 

The scenes gave me no meaning... but  i like the idea of making love when its raining outside...

kissing while you are crying and when tears are rolling down your cheeks....

I like the idea of half burnt candles.. still struggling to burn.. in the midst of beautiful raindrops... 

Life's a sweet pain.. Just like Love is ! 

And death sums it all up ! I really dont like the idea of death.... but like the "what if" game in the movie... if we knew how much less time we had... we would do more things beautiful in life...

we would smile more.. love more... help more... listen more... And do whatever we enjoy doing the most.... Well, thats what i think.... it could differ !

Writing about death does not seem to be a good idea to me at 2.14 am either... So i am stopping here.... 

But let the words i typed in between be like the unseen eeriness surrounding DEATH !