I buy the magazine vanitha whenever i can.. although i feel that 90 % of the content is mundane.. and repetetions, im kinda interested to know some of the internal affairs of celebrities.. not all .. but some of the people whom i really adore .. may be.. madhavikutty or shobhana or Arundhathi Roy.. Vanitha makes it a point to interview some influential personalities..!
Sometimes they have nothing at all! Then i just turn the glossy pages over like a maniac looking at some brilliant colours on display! Sometimes i try to decide which colour saree i should choose for my wedding day.. and finally i go to my mom and gives the book with a pleasent smile coz i didnt find anything in it other than colours.. and mom doesnt mind! She's not lookin out for some knowledge in celebrity life!
So.. this months edition of vanitha has an interview of one Mr. Unni menon , close friend of Padmarajan.. I was really interested in reading it coz its been not so long since i've watched Thoovanathumbikal.. and i found the movie really nice! So, I start reading.. and i come to know that the protagonist jayakrishnan played by mohanlal is actually based on
Unni menon...and the poor thing Ashokan was padmarajan himself...
Mr.Menon said, that when padmarajan first came to thrissur he didnt even know how to smoke.. he would drink a little and would vomit the whole stuff a minute later.. Ashokan played it quite well i suppose...
Padmarajan wrote beautiful words to Radha his lover then ...
" Appol ende omane.. ithaanende veedu..Ne varunno?
namukkavide padinjaare vazhiyude iruvashangalilumaayi oraal pokathil vetti nirthiya aralichedikalude naduvil nilaavu veezhumbol chennirikaam..." Sounds nice... i wonder why no one wrote letters to me like this.. i would fall for him then and there ! Such eloquentness... and in malayalam... it would seem so serious and sweet !
Clara never existed, says Unni menon.. he says that neither did he nor anyone in their group knew such a character ..
"Evideyo ninnu vannu engotto poya clara? Epozhum mazhayodopam maatram vannaval.. braanthande changalayile vrinanamaavaan mohichaval... "
And im thinking... "Braanthande changalayile vrinamavan maatramulla vattenikundo daivame..? hmmm.. illa... !! Enthaayalum vrinamavan enikk patilla...! " As Rejeesh says and the rest of the gang approves... njan oru neat vijayan alle....! "Venemenkil braanthande changala aavaam... not vrinam...!" lol...... Anyways i enjoyed reading the article.. there were two photographs of padmarajan... Beautiful eyes he had! Or was that a beautiful gaze...i dont know! They looked quite insightful... but sad that they're resting with a lot of impending ideas.....
Thoovanathumbikal ... umm.... what does it mean?!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Fassbinder....
Dad always talks about him and his movies..
Rainer Werner Maria Fassbinder, A german movie director...
I've known him and his movies only through dads words... The climax scene of 'The marriage of Maria Braun' flashes across in my mind when dad narrates it...
I don't think i've watched his movies... But would like to!
Rainer Werner Maria Fassbinder, A german movie director...
I've known him and his movies only through dads words... The climax scene of 'The marriage of Maria Braun' flashes across in my mind when dad narrates it...
I don't think i've watched his movies... But would like to!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Milan Kundera
" There are things that can be accomplished only by violence..
Physical love is unthinkable without violence"
Monday, June 15, 2009
Strong? Not me!
Evening :
The word is strong.. and i dont know what people mean when they say "Be strong" Anyways today i cried after a long time.. i realised 'strong' is quite not the word for me... infact i realised im not at all strong....
I can pretend to be so, but im not ! And for the first time today, i didnt feel bad for being this sensitive and not so strong... im taking it in ! Im sensitive and im not strong ! So what... So nothing... just a few tears would roll down my cheeks...and i'd wipe it off.. thats all ! I call Vrinda and she says she'll give a call back.. she calls me up and listens to me and tries to make peace within my fluttered mind... we talk for about an hour and a half... I felt relieved.. and then we started talking about madhavikutty like two crazy fans... we talked so much about her... it was sad ! We both couldnt digest the fact that she is no more.. We were'nt here in trivandrum when her body was brought to the Palayam Juma Masjid.. Vrinda at kayamkulam, me at ernakulam.. she said "namukk bhagyamilleda! Atleast to see her from faraway " Talkin about madhavikutty, we then moved onto her books.. then other books... other writers... I was feelin much better... she asked me to have food properly and called me a shavam(her way of scolding me), coz i dont eat and put on weight !
Morning :
Morning was quite good..I saw 5 o clock after years i guess!
Went for a walk at kanakakunu with salini... the best part i liked was watching a bunch of elderly people with white Tshirts sayin 'Walkers club, Trivandrum' written on it...They were walkin like they have to soon reach that place or else they'll miss the best of things! They seemed so happy and cracked jokes among themselves laughing like there was no tomorrow! Felt good seeing them... I stood at the small enclosure made of stones where i always go and watched the open stage.. nishagandhi..
It has become an obsession now... just the stage !
Night :
A few minutes back i was talkin to philip through text messages.. and he said it was his Bday today ! There werent any Bday updates today when i opened my profile... he said he hadnt enabled it..! I shouted at him.. and wished him Bday ! I dont remember my frnds Bdays much... all my frnds know dat quite well.. ! Infact for Vrinda's Bday she called me up and said "Eda, ende Bday aanu..." and i could listen to her smiling on the other side ! I was like.. "Oh ! im sorry sweetheart !! As always... i missed dis one too..!"
But she was calm.. she said she knew that her best frnd would forget and so she has to remind her! She laughed and said thats what best frnds are for... "See, i know u quite well!" She said! I felt sorry....
But, i think i can't help forgetting frnds Bdays, apologising later and then wishing them! Its in my blood i guess... And its really bad... i feel awful everytime i miss their bdays !
Now : Time to wind up...
The word is strong.. and i dont know what people mean when they say "Be strong" Anyways today i cried after a long time.. i realised 'strong' is quite not the word for me... infact i realised im not at all strong....
I can pretend to be so, but im not ! And for the first time today, i didnt feel bad for being this sensitive and not so strong... im taking it in ! Im sensitive and im not strong ! So what... So nothing... just a few tears would roll down my cheeks...and i'd wipe it off.. thats all ! I call Vrinda and she says she'll give a call back.. she calls me up and listens to me and tries to make peace within my fluttered mind... we talk for about an hour and a half... I felt relieved.. and then we started talking about madhavikutty like two crazy fans... we talked so much about her... it was sad ! We both couldnt digest the fact that she is no more.. We were'nt here in trivandrum when her body was brought to the Palayam Juma Masjid.. Vrinda at kayamkulam, me at ernakulam.. she said "namukk bhagyamilleda! Atleast to see her from faraway " Talkin about madhavikutty, we then moved onto her books.. then other books... other writers... I was feelin much better... she asked me to have food properly and called me a shavam(her way of scolding me), coz i dont eat and put on weight !
Morning :
Morning was quite good..I saw 5 o clock after years i guess!
Went for a walk at kanakakunu with salini... the best part i liked was watching a bunch of elderly people with white Tshirts sayin 'Walkers club, Trivandrum' written on it...They were walkin like they have to soon reach that place or else they'll miss the best of things! They seemed so happy and cracked jokes among themselves laughing like there was no tomorrow! Felt good seeing them... I stood at the small enclosure made of stones where i always go and watched the open stage.. nishagandhi..
It has become an obsession now... just the stage !
Night :
A few minutes back i was talkin to philip through text messages.. and he said it was his Bday today ! There werent any Bday updates today when i opened my profile... he said he hadnt enabled it..! I shouted at him.. and wished him Bday ! I dont remember my frnds Bdays much... all my frnds know dat quite well.. ! Infact for Vrinda's Bday she called me up and said "Eda, ende Bday aanu..." and i could listen to her smiling on the other side ! I was like.. "Oh ! im sorry sweetheart !! As always... i missed dis one too..!"
But she was calm.. she said she knew that her best frnd would forget and so she has to remind her! She laughed and said thats what best frnds are for... "See, i know u quite well!" She said! I felt sorry....
But, i think i can't help forgetting frnds Bdays, apologising later and then wishing them! Its in my blood i guess... And its really bad... i feel awful everytime i miss their bdays !
Now : Time to wind up...
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Books, thoughts, words...
Was at DC Books yesterday... books, books, books all around...
I was wondering.. If i was in a prison, sentenced to a lifetime imprisonment... and had nothing else to do other than.. some gardening, some washing , some article making or whatever... I could probably spend my time reading... i mean it should be less of work... and more of reading... lol !
I did tell my idea to salini.. and she burst into laughter !!
I looked around.. People who had money bought books they liked.. and people who didnt have any money, like me, stood there and read books partially plotting ways to make a lot of money so dat they can buy and read those books in the future..!
Asked for 'The Catcher in the Rye' but it wasn't available.. They said it'll be available after 3 days or so.. One gentleman still thought the book is somewhere there and checked and found one! But that was the readers guide to 'The Catcher in the Rye' ... we smiled.... Both of us went through certain books.... I took Ayn rands 'Atlas shrugged' and just turned the pages.... oooh quite a lot to read ! "stopping the motor of the world" by withdrawing the "minds" ( not a good time to start - I thought ! )
We left the place after salini buyin some study materials...
I was wondering.. If i was in a prison, sentenced to a lifetime imprisonment... and had nothing else to do other than.. some gardening, some washing , some article making or whatever... I could probably spend my time reading... i mean it should be less of work... and more of reading... lol !
I did tell my idea to salini.. and she burst into laughter !!
I looked around.. People who had money bought books they liked.. and people who didnt have any money, like me, stood there and read books partially plotting ways to make a lot of money so dat they can buy and read those books in the future..!
Asked for 'The Catcher in the Rye' but it wasn't available.. They said it'll be available after 3 days or so.. One gentleman still thought the book is somewhere there and checked and found one! But that was the readers guide to 'The Catcher in the Rye' ... we smiled.... Both of us went through certain books.... I took Ayn rands 'Atlas shrugged' and just turned the pages.... oooh quite a lot to read ! "stopping the motor of the world" by withdrawing the "minds" ( not a good time to start - I thought ! )
We left the place after salini buyin some study materials...
Saturday, June 13, 2009
The Catcher in the Rye !
Midnight.. 9th june .. as usual i get no sleep.. i wonder why on earth i get to lie awake with my eyes wide open and the lids blinkin 100 times per second while everyone else at home is fast asleep... more thoughts less sleep... ! lol
Well.. i somehow pass my time contemplating absolutely nothing ! At about 3.30 am dads blackberry cries! A set alarm ! He wakes up and im relieved.. Its always like this for insomniacs i guess... when somebody wakes up they feel good about it ! lol.. So i get up too... Dad is startled to see me awake...
I ask him whether shall i make tea for him.. he has this trip to IIIT, Allahabad to give a talk... the flights at 6 or something... he says okei... and i make tea... we didnt call the rest of the members of the madhouse... coz they were oh...so tired..and sleeping ! Dad said no need to call anyone... and i agreed... coz there actually was no need! These trips happened every other day ! So the car comes from CDAC to pick him up, he says goodbye and goes... i lock the door.. and puts on the TV... ! ( That was obvious )
Some movie going on.. i still haven't found out its name... i was about to change but... the words struck me! Oh well.. starmovies have subtitles even though its not required.. but i love them showing the subtitles! U can mostly catch the dialogues word by word.. The dialogues in the movie seemed very deep... and crazy... The protagonist seemed to be like me... always having thoughts in his mind.... i got interested ! I didnt change the channel... And later on, i realised that the movie was about John lennon's murder by his own fan... Mark David Chapman.. and since i liked John lennon and his songs and morever his love for yoko ono.. i stuck to the movie , not changing it!
Sometime later the book in the hands of the protagonist catches my attention... The catcher in the Rye.. The protagonist is obsessed with the child hero of the book... Holden.... He thinks he's holden.. he's got to do something big in this world before he dies... He kills john lennon finally as he set his mind to ! Bcoz he felt "I was nobody until I killed the biggest somebody on earth"
They showed that the lines from the book resonates in the protagonists mind all the time... It made me delusional... i got crazy...! The nuts and bolts loosening up a bit... more due to no sleep and some due to those magical words... i was like in a transcendental state ! I decided to find out whether such a book really exists so dat i can read it and go mad !! what a desire! lol.. I slept at 7 in the morning on 10th... woke up at 10 am.. coz we had decided to watch a movie at 11... went with sis, chindu and frnds... watched the movie.. spent a beautiful day with frnds at museum and nishagandhi.... told about the movie and how i got carried away by the words to rejeesh... we were all lying on the open stage... the blue sky was a beautiful view... After comin back home i searched.. and there it is... The Catcher in the Rye... A 1951 novel by J.D.Salinger.... (based on a mishearing of Robert Burns' Comin' Through the Rye)
Right now i must be totally nuts not to sleep and write about 'The catcher in the rye' at 1 am on 13th june! Well... i told rejeesh about the book...yesterday he asked me to go to DC books, that i might find the book there...
I have to go ! And get the book ! I've never found this urge to read a book so badly............!
Holden: "You know that song, 'If a body catch a body comin' through the rye'?..."Phoebe: "It's 'If a body meet a body coming through the rye'!... It's a poem by Robert Burns."
Well.. i somehow pass my time contemplating absolutely nothing ! At about 3.30 am dads blackberry cries! A set alarm ! He wakes up and im relieved.. Its always like this for insomniacs i guess... when somebody wakes up they feel good about it ! lol.. So i get up too... Dad is startled to see me awake...
I ask him whether shall i make tea for him.. he has this trip to IIIT, Allahabad to give a talk... the flights at 6 or something... he says okei... and i make tea... we didnt call the rest of the members of the madhouse... coz they were oh...so tired..and sleeping ! Dad said no need to call anyone... and i agreed... coz there actually was no need! These trips happened every other day ! So the car comes from CDAC to pick him up, he says goodbye and goes... i lock the door.. and puts on the TV... ! ( That was obvious )
Some movie going on.. i still haven't found out its name... i was about to change but... the words struck me! Oh well.. starmovies have subtitles even though its not required.. but i love them showing the subtitles! U can mostly catch the dialogues word by word.. The dialogues in the movie seemed very deep... and crazy... The protagonist seemed to be like me... always having thoughts in his mind.... i got interested ! I didnt change the channel... And later on, i realised that the movie was about John lennon's murder by his own fan... Mark David Chapman.. and since i liked John lennon and his songs and morever his love for yoko ono.. i stuck to the movie , not changing it!
Sometime later the book in the hands of the protagonist catches my attention... The catcher in the Rye.. The protagonist is obsessed with the child hero of the book... Holden.... He thinks he's holden.. he's got to do something big in this world before he dies... He kills john lennon finally as he set his mind to ! Bcoz he felt "I was nobody until I killed the biggest somebody on earth"
They showed that the lines from the book resonates in the protagonists mind all the time... It made me delusional... i got crazy...! The nuts and bolts loosening up a bit... more due to no sleep and some due to those magical words... i was like in a transcendental state ! I decided to find out whether such a book really exists so dat i can read it and go mad !! what a desire! lol.. I slept at 7 in the morning on 10th... woke up at 10 am.. coz we had decided to watch a movie at 11... went with sis, chindu and frnds... watched the movie.. spent a beautiful day with frnds at museum and nishagandhi.... told about the movie and how i got carried away by the words to rejeesh... we were all lying on the open stage... the blue sky was a beautiful view... After comin back home i searched.. and there it is... The Catcher in the Rye... A 1951 novel by J.D.Salinger.... (based on a mishearing of Robert Burns' Comin' Through the Rye)
Right now i must be totally nuts not to sleep and write about 'The catcher in the rye' at 1 am on 13th june! Well... i told rejeesh about the book...yesterday he asked me to go to DC books, that i might find the book there...
I have to go ! And get the book ! I've never found this urge to read a book so badly............!
Holden: "You know that song, 'If a body catch a body comin' through the rye'?..."Phoebe: "It's 'If a body meet a body coming through the rye'!... It's a poem by Robert Burns."
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