Strong? Not me!

Evening :
The word is strong.. and i dont know what people mean when they say "Be strong" Anyways today i cried after a long time.. i realised 'strong' is quite not the word for me... infact i realised im not at all strong....
I can pretend to be so, but im not ! And for the first time today, i didnt feel bad for being this sensitive and not so strong... im taking it in ! Im sensitive and im not strong ! So what... So nothing... just a few tears would roll down my cheeks...and i'd wipe it off.. thats all ! I call Vrinda and she says she'll give a call back.. she calls me up and listens to me and tries to make peace within my fluttered mind... we talk for about an hour and a half... I felt relieved.. and then we started talking about madhavikutty like two crazy fans... we talked so much about her... it was sad ! We both couldnt digest the fact that she is no more.. We were'nt here in trivandrum when her body was brought to the Palayam Juma Masjid.. Vrinda at kayamkulam, me at ernakulam.. she said "namukk bhagyamilleda! Atleast to see her from faraway " Talkin about madhavikutty, we then moved onto her books.. then other books... other writers... I was feelin much better... she asked me to have food properly and called me a shavam(her way of scolding me), coz i dont eat and put on weight !

Morning :
Morning was quite good..I saw 5 o clock after years i guess!
Went for a walk at kanakakunu with salini... the best part i liked was watching a bunch of elderly people with white Tshirts sayin 'Walkers club, Trivandrum' written on it...They were walkin like they have to soon reach that place or else they'll miss the best of things! They seemed so happy and cracked jokes among themselves laughing like there was no tomorrow! Felt good seeing them... I stood at the small enclosure made of stones where i always go and watched the open stage.. nishagandhi..
It has become an obsession now... just the stage !

Night :
A few minutes back i was talkin to philip through text messages.. and he said it was his Bday today ! There werent any Bday updates today when i opened my profile... he said he hadnt enabled it..! I shouted at him.. and wished him Bday ! I dont remember my frnds Bdays much... all my frnds know dat quite well.. ! Infact for Vrinda's Bday she called me up and said "Eda, ende Bday aanu..." and i could listen to her smiling on the other side ! I was like.. "Oh ! im sorry sweetheart !! As always... i missed dis one too..!"
But she was calm.. she said she knew that her best frnd would forget and so she has to remind her! She laughed and said thats what best frnds are for... "See, i know u quite well!" She said! I felt sorry....
But, i think i can't help forgetting frnds Bdays, apologising later and then wishing them! Its in my blood i guess... And its really bad... i feel awful everytime i miss their bdays !

Now : Time to wind up...